January 2011
8 posts
the spice is right. A new game show where you...
Jesus was seated at the RIGHT HAND of the father. See, left handed people go to hell.
I’m in a kiss cover band, called hug.
Here are the lyrics to my new song. “Germany peed on my big hat, and France ate my Mexican, then something about how Italy is shaped like a cowboy boot.” it’s a country song.
The real olive garden. When you’re here, you’re an olive...
jet packs with unicorns: episode 1
Its colder than a college dropout outside: frikken zero degrees.
I like to think that our sun is a giant asterisk, and earth is just one of god’s big typos
Do you think that if peas were people they would smoke pod?
In history class after the teacher passes out the syllabus I like to raise my hand and ask, “When are we gonna learn about Rudolph the red nose reindeer?” and my teachers like,...
1 tag
Pants think shorts are midgets
Growl. That’s what bears say when they are mad. Grrr owl. That’s what bears say when they are mad at owls.
Do Amish people write autobiographies? Or do they have to write horse drawn buggographies?
“You’re not beautiful, you’re beautiempty.” A neat thing you could say to the grand canyon or a dumb bitch. Or America if you feel jaunty.
Do you know why gummy...
WatchPart Mormon! A Mary Mack commercial Parody
It’s filled with all my favorite local minneapolis comics!
And it’s amazing.
Batman and Robin Hood.
I always thought it was happy street patricks day.
My sister likes to go to the VFW and tell people she’s a veteran, and I have to correct her. “you’re a veterinarian. Not a veteran narian.”
If I tell someone I like the back of their hand, is that a backhanded compliment? “oh, so the front of my hand is stupid?”
Do you guys remember legends of the hidden...
Midnight jokes inspired by sleep deprivation and...
i texted my friend today and he responded “sorry, I got a new phone, who is this?” I wanted to be funny so I replied “this is your mom.” And then he said “my mom doesn’t text me asking if unicorns wear top hats to hide there horns so they can blend in with horses.” and then I said “well do they?”
I hear they’re making a sequel to the...