my cat hates water. When it rains, it purrs.

When i get a stain on my shirt, i just yell “I can’t believe you got a tattoo without asking me!”

The only reason I like fishing is because I get to yell “accio fish!” every time I cast the rod. Then i whisper, “You’re a wizard andy.”

I like bowling, mostly because I get to hang out in a dark alley without being afraid of stabbers and stray cats.

I’d have less friends if potatoes with sharpied on smiley faces didn’t count.

Who’s excited for the hams free phone? lots of cute pigs are!

Happy new years eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve eve everybody.

7 months ago · 6 notes