There’s an elephant outside. But it wasn’t awkward.

The bad news is, we found a suicide note. The good news is, it’s also a Mad Lib!

Why are they called stuffed animals? It’s not like they can eat.

I remember when wicker was invented. They said it couldn’t be done.

I’ve never been to a black tie affair. But me and my loaf of bread have twist tie affairs every day.

I always thought Fonzie was just really bad at pig latin.

I list every item at my garage sales at 1,000,000 dollars. It makes bartering a lot more fun. I get to say things like “Okay, what about 750,000? Come on, be reasonable!”

5 months ago · 9 notes