If there was a pinball machine in the laundry room, I’d be at a crossroads every time i ran out of underwear.

“You put the FML in farm animal.” What i would say if a cow peed on me.

I plugged earphones into my deck of cards and listened to them on shuffle.

I wish there was a way to mock a drummer every time they do a bad rimshot in a real song. I usually just yell “Ha Ha Ha cha.” 

Ohhhh i thought it was a licker store. So you for real don’t have jolly ranchers OR suckers? And I shouldn’t have brought a field trip here?

I wanted my computer to shut up, so it shutdown.

10 months ago · 2 notes